Delayed ejaculation tends to be thought of as a challenging and difficult problem to solve amongst the panoply of male sexual dysfunctions.
However, the truth may be actually somewhat different, in that treatment is probably unsuccessful because the approach that has been selected in an individual case has not been tailored to specific manís requirements.
You see, the thing about delayed ejaculation is that although we know in broad terms what causes it, the specific etiology in individual cases can be a combination of several different factors which means that treatment needs to be specifically designed for the individual case.
One of the most common causes of delayed ejaculation of course is traumatic masturbatory patterns which has desensitized the penis. At least, thatís the classic view, although there is a viewpoint which suggests that in fact far from being the cause of the problem, harsh masturbation is a symptom of a manís low sexual arousal.
In other words, it is only by using the most extreme form of masturbatory technique that a man can achieve ejaculation. If this is true, this view supports the desire-deficit model put forward by Bernard Applebaum, which suggests that one of the reasons that a man canít achieve the point of no return and ejaculate normally during intercourse is because his sexual desire is too low.
He simply isnít aroused enough to reach the point of ejaculatory inevitability. Only by masturbating with a very hard and harsh technique can he come anywhere near the level of stimulation sufficient to cause him to ejaculate. Clearly normal sexual intercourse will provide nothing like this level of stimulation, which means that a man is limited in how he can achieve sexual release.
Bernard Apfelbaum has referred to as autosexuality ó meaning that a man can only achieve sexual orgasm and ejaculation only by solo masturbation with no partner present ó as a defective pattern of sexual arousal, or perhaps more accurately as a deficiency in sexual arousal. Helen Singer Kaplan formed a different view.
This interpretation suggests that the man find his own erotic touch more arousing than anything else. However by reframing this masturbatory syndrome one can see it as a situation where the man has actually got to masturbate in this way to achieve the level of stimulation necessary. In this way, you can see that autoerotic patterns of masturbation which may seem abnormal can be in fact an adaptive response to a lack of arousal and excitement.
Now having said all this, it is true that many men with delayed ejaculation also display other typical symptoms of emotional dysfunction such as paraphilia, obsessive-compulsive behaviour, or excessive anxiety. This may not be empirical evidence that thereís a connection between emotional disturbance and delayed ejaculation, but itís certainly highly suggestive since the connection appears over and over again.
We probably need to understand that any sexual dysfunction is likely to be the product of both physical and emotional factors working in combination, whether this is harsh masturbation or a deficiency in sexual technique.
Treatment approaches for problems with male sexuality will generally involve both physical and emotional therapy of some kind. Therapy for a lack of sexual desire would included a series of graded stimulation exercises and also sexual interaction with a sexual partner which is designed to provide a man with knowledge of those things that can trigger his orgasm more rapidly by increasing his level of sexual arousal.
The emotional therapy indicated in such cases might include an exploration of the deeper subconscious issues which may be inhibiting ejaculation, allowing the man to explore his thoughts and feelings that are held in his subconscious, and which inevitably affect his sexual behaviour with partner.
Counselling is a very good approach to this problem, as is psychodynamic therapy. Our associates in London, North London Counselling are very experienced in treating delayed ejaculation, and can offer support for all men who may feel that they require assistance in this area. Having said that, there's a self-help treatment program can be highly successful, and there is one available if you want it.